10/10/06 - 2/28/07

One Art

2007-02-28T22:40:00.001-08:00

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day.
Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names,
and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch.
And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you I shan't have lied.
It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like a disaster.

~ Elizabeth Bishop ~

One Art

2007-02-28T22:40:00.000-08:00

dude

2007-02-20T10:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I came here to update, and when i looked at the blog the skin is all fuckered up.. so i guess that me and chris need a new skin.. correct??? yea thats what i thought..

2007-02-06T19:04:00.001-08:00

I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness.
All that thought you're giving me is conscience, I guess.
If I were walking in your shoes, I wouldn't worry none.
While you and your friends are worrying 'bout me, I'm having lots of fun.

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.

Last night I dressed in tails, pretended I was on the town.
As long as I can dream, it's hard to slow this swinger down.
So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doing fine.
You can always find me here, having quite a time.

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.

Well, it's good to see you, I must go, I know I look a fright.
Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light.
And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete.
So I must go back to my room and make my day complete.

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.

Now, counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.

Don't tell me I've nothing to do.

Join The Circus!

2007-02-04T12:12:00.000-08:00

Sit down,
shut up,
don't think,
just do,
don't worry
if anything
goes wrong,
it will all
disappear tomorrow,
don't justify,
don't ask questions,
don't make sense,

continue to rely,

accept everything
for how it seems,
believe anything you hear,
believe anything you read,
do as your told,
buy this,
sell that,
go here,
squat there,
deny your mistakes,
blame whoever

is the easiest to blame,

don't regret anything,
you don't owe them,
they owe you,
everything that's real is a lie,
if they hurt you...hate them,
if you hurt them...hate them,
take what you want,
get what you need,
want what you don't have,
alienate those who
are different from the rest,
take advantage of the weak
and respect the strong,
don't worry...after all...
we're only human right???

An IM convo between me and mel from 2003

2007-02-01T14:45:00.001-08:00

MMFerguson316: i am here
Auto response from CCampbell2002: Watchin TV :-)
MMFerguson316: i am here whenever you are here
MMFerguson316: hello

Auto response from CCampbell2002: Watchin TV :-)
MMFerguson316: i am here
CCampbell2002: hey i am here but not for long :-)
CCampbell2002: i am taking a commercial break
CCampbell2002: :-)
CCampbell2002: j/k
MMFerguson316: i would have been here sooner but my mom was making phone calls
CCampbell2002: yeah yeah sure sure :-)
CCampbell2002: thats ok i was enjoying watching tv
MMFerguson316: no i am serious
CCampbell2002: do you know how long it has been since i have got to sit down and do nothing but enjoy television?
MMFerguson316: prolly a long time...
CCampbell2002: yup
CCampbell2002: i forgot how much i like it
MMFerguson316: MCA;SLD
MMFerguson316: well do you want to get back too it??
CCampbell2002: maybe
CCampbell2002: but if you want to talk
CCampbell2002: i can watch tv later
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: ok... hold on i got to pee
CCampbell2002: ok
MMFerguson316:
CCampbell2002: hey did you see my major update on my journal?
MMFerguson316: no,... ugh i just got on remember hold on and i will look
CCampbell2002: :-(
MMFerguson316: whats wrong
CCampbell2002: I see how it is no one remembers my journal :-[
MMFerguson316: wow
MMFerguson316: thats pretty
CCampbell2002: what is?
MMFerguson316: the indian pic
MMFerguson316: i have been wanting to look at this all day
MMFerguson316: wow ... you did do a lot
MMFerguson316: r u ok?
CCampbell2002: all the ones on the front are new and also their are some under the "View Older Entries"
CCampbell2002: yeah
CCampbell2002: Y?
CCampbell2002: ??
CCampbell2002: ??????????????????
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: well your ttping in black
CCampbell2002: am not i am typin in blue
MMFerguson316: UGH i have to work tomorrow!!!!!
CCampbell2002: me too
CCampbell2002: unless my car is not fixed
CCampbell2002: and that would be a shame let me tell ya
MMFerguson316: ha ha
MMFerguson316: my back hurts
MMFerguson316:
CCampbell2002: did you read the one with the girl and the hood?
MMFerguson316: not yet
CCampbell2002: Rosebud!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!;!:
MMFerguson316: ha ha ha...
MMFerguson316: yeah my mom has a BIG house

CCampbell2002: :-):-*:-!;-):-P8-)O:-):-D
MMFerguson316: bigger than mine
CCampbell2002: thats good
CCampbell2002: cuz that house has two people
MMFerguson316: i can't read your writing
CCampbell2002: y not?
CCampbell2002: is this better?
MMFerguson316: its too dark make it lighter
CCampbell2002: ????

MMFerguson316: make it yellow
CCampbell2002: NEVER
CCampbell2002: I LIKE BLUE
CCampbell2002: :-(
MMFerguson316: fine
CCampbell2002: :'(
CCampbell2002: hey you should get yahoo messenger
MMFerguson316: well then make the background blue and the font black
CCampbell2002: its alot better than aol
CCampbell2002: how is this?
MMFerguson316: fine i want to type like that too
MMFerguson316: thats perfect
CCampbell2002: REALLY?
MMFerguson316: yeah
MMFerguson316: ha ha ha
CCampbell2002: ????????? you can see blue on blue but you can't see blue on black
CCampbell2002: Alone
You could stand among a throng of people compacted into one small room,
but there's only you, when you're so alone inside.
You could be listening to a chorus of voices in symphony next to you ear,
but you only hear your own heartbeat, when you're so alone inside.
You could sit in a hall of mirrors each reflecting back an image of yourself,
multiplied to many, but you see only one, when you're so alone inside.
When you're so alone inside, your tears echo back
each drop as they fall into a vast pool of your empty shell.
When you're so alone inside no one comforts... no one asks...
no one cares... no one notices, causing you to be... even more... alone inside.
MMFerguson316: its hard for me for me too see cause the blue is sooo bright
MMFerguson316: YEAH i was going to ask you if you wrote that poem
CCampbell2002: parts of it
MMFerguson316: i love it
CCampbell2002: Can I pour my heart out, and show you my soul?
Will you keep my secrets, and try to fill this dark hole?
Can you show me the way, guide me through the years?
Are you prepared to handle, wiping away this poor boy's tears?
MMFerguson316: ugh too much stuff is going on.... first charles gets burned... then patty colassped in the hospital.... they think that she had a heartattack.... that my 2nd cousin vickie is dying
MMFerguson316: and yes to the poem
MMFerguson316: then your car gets fucked
MMFerguson316: and my mom's also
MMFerguson316: and my back hurts
CCampbell2002: bad time to be part of your family eh... that is how it works tho it seems bad things come in threes
MMFerguson316: and i need SEEP SEEP
CCampbell2002: when my moms dad died, my dads dad had a stroke and my aunt who was pregnent lost her baby
MMFerguson316: translation: Sleep Sleep
CCampbell2002: i no
MMFerguson316: o my that is bad
CCampbell2002: yep sounds like thats whats going on to you all alos
MMFerguson316: is your fault
MMFerguson316: lol
CCampbell2002: :
CCampbell2002: )
CCampbell2002: (
CCampbell2002: :
MMFerguson316: its your fault
CCampbell2002: :P
CCampbell2002: P-:
MMFerguson316: your hyper arent you....
MMFerguson316: hyper and board
CCampbell2002: NO NOT ME
MMFerguson316:
CCampbell2002: my hyper........??? never
MMFerguson316: how is this
CCampbell2002: horrible
MMFerguson316: and this
CCampbell2002: worse
MMFerguson316: SMILE !!
CCampbell2002: that is the worst of the all
CCampbell2002: that is the next thing to satan
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316:
MMFerguson316: NO THAT IS
MMFerguson316: HA HA HA
CCampbell2002: yea
CCampbell2002: that is satan
MMFerguson316: IS YOUR LITTLE COUSIN THERE
CCampbell2002: no thank god
MMFerguson316: sorry my letters are in caps ... i keep on hitting the button... trust me i don't have the energy to yell
MMFerguson316:
CCampbell2002: yea me neither
CCampbell2002: i have been asleep most of the day the other part was spent waiting and the rest was spent watching tv and now i am talking to you
CCampbell2002: thats all i have done all day
MMFerguson316: 'I Love This Bar'
CCampbell2002: i hate it
MMFerguson316: i like that song
CCampbell2002: :-)
CCampbell2002: this bar sucks and the people.... they are all stupid
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: you can click it and listen ot it thought
CCampbell2002: won't work for me
CCampbell2002: it brings up my sign on screen
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: o well i am looking up lyrics for you to read... so hold on a second
CCampbell2002: ok
CCampbell2002: you know what scared me... and it hit me ealier when i was watching tv
CCampbell2002: scares not scared
MMFerguson316: what
CCampbell2002: that i bet i won't get to see joey when he is home
CCampbell2002: i bet anything i will have to work all 5 days he is here
MMFerguson316: take off in advance
CCampbell2002: i can't its grand opening
MMFerguson316: When It Rains"
[Chorus]
When it rains I pour a couple more rounds
Till the hurtin' and the heartache start to drown
I turn out the light I turn up Dwight and I lock my door when it rains
When life ain't going my and I can't take one more day of gray
Hey it's okay
I don't need a dose of Dr. Phil
I don't need your make it all better pill when I'm low
Don't you know don't you know
[Repeat Chorus]
I don't have to have a girls night out
Or runaround with a rowdy crowd to get down Whiskey bent and hell boun
CCampbell2002: he gets here the day before
MMFerguson316: that song is stuck in my head all day
CCampbell2002: i got to watch that 70's show
CCampbell2002: tonight
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: yay....!!!!!! did you read that song....?
CCampbell2002: yeah
MMFerguson316: read this one
CCampbell2002: ok
MMFerguson316: by Big and Rich
MMFerguson316: "Drinkin' 'Bout You"
All my life I've been telling myself
I don't need no no nobody else
I'm sitting here thinking
Sittin here drinkin bout you
I look through the mirror
And all that I see
Is one crazy lonely sucker looking back at me
I'm sitting here thinkin'
Sittin' here drinkin bout you
I'm just a man on a mission
Tryin to make some decision
Oh what am I gonna do
Cause I ain't going nowhere
If I can't be some where with you
boo boo boo
Ohh I'm just a man on a mission
Tryin to make some decision
Oh wha
CCampbell2002: hey
MMFerguson316: i am sorry i found all of these good lyrics
CCampbell2002: read this
MMFerguson316: ok
CCampbell2002: A Special Message for You My Best Friend
Today, I want to take the time to tell you
how very special and important you are in my life.
It's hard sometimes to say these things in person,
even to a best friend, and so I am sending you this messege to say it for me...
CCampbell2002: My Friend
You are the most
significant person
in my life right now.
You are my dearest friend,
the one person
I can be open
and honest with,
the person who
knows me better
than I know myself.
When I am with you,
I can be myself
with no pretense,
and I am accepted
and loved completely
for who I am.
CCampbell2002: There are no
surprises with you;
I know who you are,
and you know who I am,
and we are able to
love one another completely.
We aren't always able
to spend as much time
together as we'd like,
but when we are together,
it's as if we had never been apart.
Being with you makes me laugh,
and it gives me a safe place to cry.
You are sensitive and altogether beautifull.
CCampbell2002: I love you for being
the wonderful person
that you are
and for the beauty
you bring into my life
just by being there.
I love you for listening
to all my troubles and
for sharing yours with me.
I love you for your acceptance of me,
even when you don't agree
with my actions or decisions.
I love you for all
the fun we have together
and the openness
that now characterizes
our new friendship.
I love you most of all
for being a wonderful person
and the best friend anyone could have.
MMFerguson316: that was beautiful
CCampbell2002: I wrote that for Amber :-)........ j/k
MMFerguson316: :::
CCampbell2002: i said i was kidding
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: read this ok.... this is cool
MMFerguson316: welll i think it is....
CCampbell2002: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII:-(IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
CCampbell2002: the smiley is tied to the train track oh no save it save it
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: "Rollin' (The Ballad Of Big & Rich)"
Brother and sisters
We are here for one reason
And one reason alone
To share our love of music
I present to you
Country music without prejudice, hey
Country boys don't rock and roll
Yeah the record man told me so
Yeah you'll never get it on the radio
Why they trying to complicate
The simple music that we make
Oh cause if it moves my soul
I'm gonna keep on rollin, rollin
Hey, just wanna hear everybody say (rollin', rollin')
At the top of your lungs till the windows brak
CCampbell2002: I HATE THAT BAND
CCampbell2002: GRRRRRRR
CCampbell2002: :-)
CCampbell2002: I am very transitional I imitate all of my surroundings I am a chameleon I have many colors
But no one has seen my true ones I have worn many masks in my life Hiding my true identity
No one knows my true form For I will reveal it to no one Finding the true form of me
Is like going though a maze Never ending yet never beginning I leave you on this page
The key to the maze Make it through Then find the true me at the end.

MMFerguson316: FUCK IT I CAN'T PUT IT ALL ON HERE AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY,,,, I HATE THE FACT THAT THEY CAN'T MAKE THIS STUPID BOX BIGGER AND I CAN'T HELP BUT HATER THE FACT THAT I PISSES ME OFF CAUSE THE BOX ISENT BIGGER... AND I ALSO HATE THE FACT THAT I CAN';T READ EVERYTHIG YOU RIGHT IN LIKE 5.3 SECS .... YOU WRITE TOO FAST... THEY NEED TO RUN TESTS ON YOU TO SEE WHAT M,AKES YOU TYPE SOOOOO FAST... GOD I CAN';T EVEN READ AND WRITE THAT FAST... WOW CHRIS I JUST STARTED RAMBLING AND ANITHER THING.....
MMFerguson316: UG THE STUPID BOX WON'T LET ME FINISH
CCampbell2002: ROFLMAO
MMFerguson316:
CCampbell2002: we need to get microphones
MMFerguson316: WHY?
CCampbell2002: cuz then we could talk instead of type
CCampbell2002: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BALH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
MMFerguson316: UGH YOU NO WHAT ELSE I HATE... IS THE FACT THAT I GET SOOOOO OUT OF BREATH FROM THIS TYPING.... I DON' MOVE MY HANDS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.... NO NO NO NO NO .... I MOVE MY WHOL DAMN BODY TILL MY BACK FEELS LIKE IS IS GOINGTO GET HIT BYE A BUS BIGGER THAN THE PLANET MARS....
MMFerguson316: BLAH
CCampbell2002: i write fast and type faster but you know what i do faster that both of those?
CCampbell2002: TALK
MMFerguson316: BLAH
MMFerguson316: MEE TOOO
MMFerguson316: OMG
MMFerguson316: I AM SOOOOOO OUT OF BREATH
CCampbell2002: I HATE THIS WORLD
MMFerguson316: AND THATS PRETTY BAD SENCE I AM TYPING
MMFerguson316: ME TOO
CCampbell2002: GOOD WHEN THAT MARS BUS GETS HERE WE ARE GETTTING ON IT
MMFerguson316: ha ha ha ha
MMFerguson316: I HEAR THAT BROTHER
CCampbell2002: ya know what we have exactly 157 more days till the world as we know it shall cease to exist
MMFerguson316: ???/
CCampbell2002: I'm talking bout the rapture
CCampbell2002: and the 2nd coming
CCampbell2002: we have 157 more days
CCampbell2002: till the new year
CCampbell2002: and all hell breaks loose
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: I HATE YOU
MMFerguson316: I ACTUALLY STARTED FEELING GOO TILL YOU MENTIOND THAT
MMFerguson316: NOW I AM SAD
CCampbell2002: thats 9360 hrs
MMFerguson316: THANKS
MMFerguson316: SHUT UP
CCampbell2002: well its no use acting like an ostrice
MMFerguson316: AN CHECK YOUR MAIL
CCampbell2002: ostridge
MMFerguson316: HA HA HA HA
CCampbell2002: ..... that big bird with the big neck
MMFerguson316: I AM SOOOO KEEPING THIS CONVERSATION
CCampbell2002: no use buring your head thinking you'll be sage that way
CCampbell2002: safe*
CCampbell2002: they'll still find ya
MMFerguson316: HA HAHA
MMFerguson316: POOP
CCampbell2002: we need to start making plans now
MMFerguson316: CHECK
MMFerguson316: YOUR
CCampbell2002: NOW I TELLL YOU
MMFerguson316: MAIL
CCampbell2002: WE HAVE 157 DAYS TO MAKE PLANS
CCampbell2002: THEN WE ARE SCREWED
MMFerguson316: PLANS FOR???
MMFerguson316: CHECK YOUR MAIL I SENT YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL LIKE
CCampbell2002: have you not heard one word i've typed
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: HA HA H

CCampbell2002: lol
CCampbell2002: ROFLMGDFAO
CCampbell2002: ROFLMGDFAO
MMFerguson316: ?????????
CCampbell2002: ROFLMGDFAO
CCampbell2002: ROFLMGDFAO
MMFerguson316: wait
CCampbell2002: rolling on floor laughing my gosh darn freakin ass off
CCampbell2002: :-)
MMFerguson316: i had it
MMFerguson316: i knwew it
MMFerguson316: i solbed it
MMFerguson316: solver
MMFerguson316: solved
CCampbell2002: I wonder why smileys don't get bigger :-)
MMFerguson316: i solved it
CCampbell2002: o wow they do
MMFerguson316: hiw
MMFerguson316: how

CCampbell2002: :-) :-( :')
CCampbell2002: oops
CCampbell2002: :'(
CCampbell2002: 8-)
CCampbell2002: :-!
CCampbell2002: what is that one?
CCampbell2002: can you tell me what that is?
CCampbell2002: huh can ya
CCampbell2002: well
CCampbell2002: ?
CCampbell2002: ?
CCampbell2002: can ya
CCampbell2002: ?
CCampbell2002: ok i'll stop
MMFerguson316: WHERE ARE YOU???
CCampbell2002: home
CCampbell2002: y?
MMFerguson316: I GOT ALL CONFUSE
CCampbell2002: what i said was
MMFerguson316: I OPENED 20 DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE YOU DOO AND NO I AM CONFUSED
CCampbell2002: :-! can you tell me what that is huh can you ????? can ya?
CCampbell2002: 8-)
MMFerguson316: OK I KNOW YOU WILL LIKE THIS... ITS FOAMY... I HAVENT READ IT EAITHER,,, SI I HAVE TO READ IT TOO. SOO HOLD ON OK
CCampbell2002: hey go to http://messenger.yahoo.com/
MMFerguson316: FOAMY:
HOW ABOUT THIS....
STOP WITH THE FUCKING REALITY SHOWS. I AM SO SICK OF THIS FUCKIN' BULLSHIT WITH THE
FUCKING FAKE-ASS MARRIAGES FOR MONEY, THE MUNCHKIN BACHELOR SHIT, AND ANYTHING
THAT HAS TO DO WITH GREEDY MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WILL DEGRADE THEMSELVES FOR CASH.
.
MMFerguson316: OK ITS BAD CAN'T SEND TI
MMFerguson316: WHY DO Yyou want me to go there
MMFerguson316: i dont want it
CCampbell2002: y non?
CCampbell2002: it has audibles and it has this thing where you can make a virtual you
CCampbell2002: and its so neat
MMFerguson316: what are yooooou doning
MMFerguson316: is it free???
CCampbell2002: yea
CCampbell2002: absopositivolutlie
MMFerguson316: do i just click download
MMFerguson316: hello
CCampbell2002: yea
MMFerguson316: crap i lost the whole conversation
MMFerguson316: aghhh i
CCampbell2002: brb
CCampbell2002: well hey i have to go
CCampbell2002: mom called
CCampbell2002: and now my lil cousin is here
CCampbell2002: so i am going to get off here
CCampbell2002: hello?
MMFerguson316: well i tried to do it but it would have takin too long.... i am tired and i want to go to bed
MMFerguson316: by
MMFerguson316: :"
CCampbell2002: ok
MMFerguson316:
CCampbell2002: bye
CCampbell2002: hey
CCampbell2002: wait
MMFerguson316: good night
CCampbell2002: wait
MMFerguson316: yeah
CCampbell2002: wait

Heart of a true friend

2007-01-27T11:09:00.000-08:00

Sweet words are easy to say,
Sweet things are easy to buy,
But sweet people are difficult to find.

Life ends when you stop dreaming,
Hope ends when you stop believing,
Love ends when you stop caring,
Friendship ends when you stop sharing.

To love without condition,
To talk without intention,
To give without reason,
And to care without expectation
is the heart of a truefriend...

A quote

2007-01-26T10:35:00.002-08:00

When you grow up,
falling in love
becomes more about
finding someone
whose strengths
match your weaknesses,
who you can spend
Sunday evenings with,
who you don't mind
lying next to every night.

"Life is a Ride on the wave of pain and pleasure"

2007-01-26T10:35:00.001-08:00

Give me pain
that will teach me
Give me pleasure
to rock my very core
Painful memories
that make me who I am
Pleasurable memories
that make me passionate
Intense pain
that makes my heart ache
Intense pleasure
that makes me see lights of white
The pain to remind me
I can make it through
The pleasure remind me
what I have to live for

Why should I care

2007-01-26T10:32:00.000-08:00

You do not like the way I look
Why should I care
You do not like what I have to say
Why should I care
You do not think I am nice
Why should I care
You do not think I am interesting
Why should I care
You do not want to get to know me
Why should I care
You do not understand my beliefs
Why should I care
You do not appreciate me
Why should I care
You do not think I am smart
Why should I care
You do not want me around
Why should I care
You do not think I matter
Why should I care
Why do I care

*I have alway placed
too much importance
on what others think
and let it influence
how I perceive myself.
Why should care?
Better yet why do I care?

Ello.

2007-01-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

So I guess I am going to have to make a Entry.. Mr. Chris . lol.. yea i know we discussed this today, you know.. the fact that we dont update this like we should.. I think were just lazy bloggers now a days..

So i just drew this picture and i have to put it on here casue its cracking me up!

Mr Rodgers.....

2007-01-03T10:51:00.000-08:00

I just found out from a random person and Mr Rodgers was a Navy Seal with 21 confirmed killings...

Yea.. random...

and somehow that random person also told me that that had something to do with Captin Kangaroo....

way random...

2006-12-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

Silent shadows cross my mind..
but i love it..
the pure intence joy of it..
though there are more down days
now a days.. than usual..
hot
intense..
orgasmic..
I love it..

lost christmas spirit

2006-12-23T19:19:00.000-08:00

I sometimes wonder
in the hustle and bustle..
if everyone forgets
why there celebrating christmas anyways...
money and presents...
thats all that on there mind..
and getting to it first.. before you do
or someone else...
its crazy...
its supposed to be
about baby jesus...

the stores are packed...
and people are being pushed and shoved...
trampled...
yelled at and cursed
theives and liars..
run amuck...
weres the christmas cheer...
its not here..
the Christmas spirit
is long gone..
its a hallmarks holiday like the rest..
another one gone in the mess...

this moment between strangers

2006-12-03T16:54:00.001-08:00

somewhere between the strangers who turn into us,
and the strangers we inevitably become -
are the lives we occupy briefly
and imagine to be the whole of ourselves.

these transient identities.
these dust motes on anarchic tumble-tide trajectories.
these momentary illusions coalesced
from the quantum cause and ripple effect of all history,
ready to evanesce at the slightest shift
in neurochemistry or universal whimsy.

it seems i can no longer find time to define time...
and meaning... and underlying form...
and all those other things that occupied my mind so completely.
is life distracting me from the thoughts
or were the thoughts distracting me from life?
am i better off where i am or where i was?

was i a better stranger once?
will i be a better stranger hence?
am i at least half as far from who i was,
than from who i want to become?
can these things be measured
with any accuracy or meaning?

i know i cannot know for sure -
but it somehow pleases me
that i'm still the kind of person
who'll ask a purely poetic question.
if only to beg poetic answers.

Poetic Skin

2006-12-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

I re did the template.. its called pink scrolls. its a very cool place i found that ISENT blog skins..

http://www.freeskins.blogspot.com/

it looks very poetic, and has a nice feel for this bloggie i think...

Ironic

2006-11-18T04:25:00.000-08:00

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think
Chorus

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
'Well isn't this nice...'
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think
Repeat Chorus

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

It's a traffic jam when you're already late
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...
Repeat Chorus

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

A Qu

2006-11-15T23:12:00.001-08:00

You never find yourself
until you face the truth.

Free

2006-11-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

this is me, this is who i am ...
i am an egnigma.. I am what you dream
and who you wish to be...
but cant be, because your stuck inside the spiderwebs of your own mind..
waiting to just break free..
well thats me..
free.

By Baby Blue...

I was trying to fix the template, and forgot i was on chrises name.. ^.^

lol

2006-11-12T14:13:00.001-08:00

postsecret

2006-11-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

2006-11-12T08:44:00.001-08:00

poem

2006-11-11T04:37:00.000-08:00

and in the days...

I wonder here..

I wonder everywhere there is a friend...

some are lost..
some are newly found..

and i realize..

Im never alone

Nice Guys Always Finish Last

2006-11-11T00:37:00.001-08:00

It seems as though you do
all you can for those
that you care about.
And it seems as though
it means nothing to them.
As though the sacrifices and effort
you put in for them
are all taken for granted.
But you accept it, no?
You accept it as your lot in life.
Strangely, you are actually
quite content with the role you play.
The dependable one, the one that
people turn to when they need help.
The one that will always
be there to provide advice.
To keep them company.
You keep all the secrets.
You try your best to never tell lies.
But you are, for better or worse, a bus stop.
Nobody hangs around for a long time.
They only look for you when they need you.
When they need a bus so to speak.
When there is no one else to give them a ride,
or no taxis to call upon.
Do you complain?
No, of course you don't.
Because nobody would come
to you at all if you did.
You accept that you are a wallflower.
Interestingly, you seem resigned to it.
Almost revel in it.
But then you think,
what if I wasn't around anymore?
Would anyone notice?
Would anyone care?
And the realisation hits you.
It doesn't matter.
YOU, don't matter.
Bus stops are a dime a dozen.
And you realise that's what you are.
Expendable. Replaceable.
Disposable cameras.
Tissues. Newspapers. You.
They all have something in common.
Once used up, they get thrown away.
So what do you do about it?
You try to be more than just a bus stop.
You try to be a tangible human being.
You have your own mind, heart, soul.
And you try to show it to the world,
as if to say, this is who I am.
But no one's listening.
No one cares.
No one cares about you.
But you care so much, for so many.
Would they not spare
just a drop of concern for you?
Just a little spittance
of interest to at least give you
the illusion that there is
an actual friendship to be maintained?
Some semblance of hope?
And you wonder to yourself,
how did I get here?
How did I reach this point in life,
to be nothing more than
a doormat that's taken out
when needed and then put away
when all is said and done?
And you try and try and try.
And ultimately realise
that it is a futile effort.
Nothing is going to change.
People will move on with their lives.
You will flit in and out,
whenever needed or otherwise.
And in the end, you accept it.
You smile and talk as though it's alright.
You revert to what you always were.
The advice dispenser.
The shoulder to cry on.
The dependable secret keeper.
The one who gets asked out
when everyone else is busy.
And then you stay at home
on those nights when nobody needs you,
no one looks for you,
and your company is not required.
Do you complain, cry, scream,
show your frustration?
Of course you don't.
You're nice, remember?
And nice guys,
always finish last.

2006-11-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

So i fixed the template.. Due to recent events.. buy the rainbows you can figure it out lol..^.^ Leave me a comment and tell me what you think!

2006-11-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

2006-11-05T07:45:00.000-08:00

::::Sneaks into Chris's Part of Blog....:::

2006-11-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

>>>sneaks into Chris's account<<<> LOL.. not really.. ^.^ he let me in to fix the Template while he was at the (((thinks real hard))... Concert.. I cant remember what concert ... but i know that he is at one.. well anywho... I thought id leave a quick entry.. even if i am on Chris's part of this emo... blog.. OOOO Im a Speical Guest!!!! ^.^ :::dances::: LOL.. well ttyl

Baby Blue

Quotes I Found

2006-11-04T15:10:00.000-08:00

The one you love and the one who loves you
are never, ever the same person.

I don't feel the same way, I don't...
I just dont know. I just don't think I have any left to give. -

It's like he is driving a car,
okay and I just wanna be
in the passenger seat, but
he's locked the door
and I have to hold onto the bumper.
You know, I'm not even asking
for him to open the door for me,
just leave it unlocked and say come in.,
but no he didnt do that, so I'm hanging on
to the bumper and life goes on
and the car goes on and I get really badly bruised
and am hitting potholes and it hurts,
I mean it hurts and yesterday I had to let go
of the bumper because it hurts too much.... it hurts too much.

I'll give this one more try,
I'll give it all my best, and, I'll ask
What could you be doing that is so much fun?
Without me by your side

What do you do ‘when you wake up
everything will be better ,‘ except its not.
And there's no worse feeling than when
you wake up and feel okay for a minute.
And then that sick feeling washes over you
and you remember it's not okay

it's hard being left behind.
it's hard to be the one who stays

You're not my favorite mistake.
You're just a simple regret.
I thought I knew who you were,
but watch how fast and watch how well I forget.

I really missed you tonight. I miss talking to you.
Knowing that you get me. And every time I talk
to someone else it just reminds me of how much they don't.

Nobody said it would be easy
Fighting your way through another day
I think I know how you feel
Looking for something that matters
Keeping it together when it's all been shattered
We all want something real

Emo Poets United

2006-11-01T21:09:00.000-08:00

I'm going to sing the doom song now

2006-11-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

A True Friend

2006-10-31T07:25:00.000-08:00

Only once in your life, I truly believe,
you find someone who can completely turn your world around.
You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul
and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more.
You share hopes for the future,
dreams that will never come true,
goals that were never achieved
and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.
When something wonderful happens,
you can't wait to tell them about it,
knowing they will share in your excitement.
They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting
or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.
Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel
like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up
and show you the things about yourself
that make you needed and even loved.
There is never any pressure, jealousy, or competition,
but only a quiet calmness when they are around.
You can be yourself and not worry about
what they will think of you because
they love you for who you are.
The things that seem insignificant to most people
such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures
kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and
are so clear and vivid it's like being young again.
Colors seem brighter and more brilliant.
Laughter seems part of daily life where before
it was infrequent or didn't exist at all.
A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through
a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face.
In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation,
but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby.
Things that never interested you before
become fascinating because you know
they are important to this person who is so special to you.
You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do.
Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky,
gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.
You open your heart knowing that there's a chance
it may be broken one day and in opening your heart,
you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.
You find that being vulnerable is the only way
to allow your heart to feel true pleasure
that's so real it scares you.
You find strength in knowing you have a true friend
will remain loyal to the end.
Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.
Your only hope and security is in knowing
that they are a part of your life.

A Differant World

2006-10-31T07:21:00.000-08:00

The critic could tell you the price of everything
While knowing the value of nothing at all
The hypocrite could tell you how it all should be
But his whole life, he's been living a lie
The preacher speaks a sermon of truth and God
While living a life of mortality and sin
The beggar complains of all his misfortunes
But he'll spend his last penny on the bottle
The politician speaks of honesty and prosperity
While corruption gives him a mansion and all
And Born-Agains tell how their life's in God's hands
But it's only an excuse for their wrongs
The lover will tell you how he's a one-woman man
But who's in his bed when that one woman's gone
And the man with all his worldly possessions
May condemn the tramp for selling her body
But keep this is mind, his sin's far worse
For he's the one who sold his soul
And we condemn the dreamers and idealists for surreal beliefs
Telling them how they ignore all life's problems
But we fail to see that without them
How would we ever move forward
While somewhere a single mom in the ghetto gives birth
to a baby girl all she asks for is a helping hand
But give her a fighting chance, we'd rather not
And there are those in search of change and equality
But we know them only as rebels and radicals
There are those in search of fame and glory
But we worship only perversion and crime
We praise the man who made it out of his old town
Ignore that he's running from his past
Ignore that he's ashamed of his roots
We meet with our unions and strike
Whatever happened to working hard for a dollar
We condemn those who commit wrongs before us
While looking the other way instead of facing our own
We preach out loud how all are created equal
But somehow it's not the case if your skin's
a different shade than mine
Imagine a world so much different than this
Where people don't wear these covering veils
Can you picture a world with pride instead of shame
Where people really are what they seem

Thank You Friend

2006-10-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

Thank you for believing in me
when I found it difficult
to believe in myself...
for saying what I've needed to hear sometimes,
instead of what I've wanted to hear...
for siding with me...
and for giving me another side to consider.

Thank you for opening yourself up to me...
for trusting me with your thoughts
and disappointments and dreams...
for knowing you can depend on me
and for asking my help when you've needed it.

Thank you for putting so much
thought and care and imagination
into our friendship...
for sharing so many nice times
and making so many special memories with me.

Thank you for always being honest with me
being kind to me...being there for me.

Thank you for being
a friend to me
in so many meaningful ways.

The Dawning

2006-10-30T07:46:00.000-08:00

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,

and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a adult,
not the grief of a child,

and you learn to build your roads on today,
for tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own Soul,
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn
that YOU
really can endure,
that YOU
really are strong,
and YOU
really do have worth!

And you learn....and you learn...
with every good-bye
you learn!

~JoAnn Lenhoff~

2006-10-30T04:38:00.000-08:00

well i was signed into here, so i thought i would write a little post.. before i had to go.Thing is, is that i dont have noting to say.... right now.. I dont want to go to work.. this sucks.. so much that you have no idea. I need milk so bad.. but i am waiting for mom.. Laterz

2006-10-30T04:20:00.000-08:00

2006-10-29T22:36:00.001-08:00

Window Of My Soul

2006-10-29T10:43:00.001-08:00

Of all the times that I've talked did I ever tell you?
Tell you I don't know how to let go of all of this...
This pain that haunts me.
Knowing I should be happy,
but still seeing nothing for me.
Looking out of this window.
The window of my soul.
Seems like everythings a slow moving plot
from a movie whose name no one can recall.
Life seems so short but tends to last forever.
Time goes by so slowly but there doesn't seem
to be enough minutes in the day.
Leaving things half finished
saying there's always tommorow
but hoping tommorow never comes.
To be lost in one day forever.
Just reliving that day over and over,
an endless loop of painful happiness.
What day would I choose?
The day I first saw your face?
The day we held each other
for hours never wanting to let go
or the day I didn't hear from you
and felt total emptiness.
On all these days I felt nothing but love
but that love seems so far away right now.
I know it's still here but I can't seem to find it right now.
Do you feel the same as I slowly push you away?
Afraid you'll hate the things I think
when I'm left here with myself.
Ways to make the pain stop.
For some reason they all end the same way.
With me writing you a letter
of my undying love for you.
Even though you may be gone
I know that I can last but will the feelings ever pass?

Remember Me

2006-10-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

Remember everything I meant to say
Remember all the times we shared
Remember all the times we cared
Remember the days of fun
Remember the days in the sun
Remember the nights we would sit and talk
Remember when we would go for a walk
Remember the secrets we would trust in each other
Remember how you made me your unofficial brother
Remember how you would not let me die
Remember how we would reach the sky
Remember every word that we said
Remember every time we thought our relationship was dead
But I will not let our relationship die

This Letter

2006-10-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

How to feel as I write this letter
Hoping everything will work out for the better
Once we are apart and the pain fades away
So we can both find another and face a new day
For we kill each other with every word we speak
And are just not what the other seeks
So for months we have put on a show
Hoping things will get better as we go
But the pieces of our shattered hearts only break more
Every piece ends with more on the floor
For these pieces can't seem to make the whole
And the fire that once burned, turns to coal
So we just see the ashes blow away
This letter says everything I have left to say
And the envelope has been sealed with a kiss
For there are things I will truly miss
But the bad out weighs the good in this case
And I can not continue on with this race
Only to lose to the sands of time
What we had has lost all that was sublime
So I leave the letter on your desk and walk out the door
Knowing I won't be able to see you anymore
For I begin to cry as I shut the door
Knowing, away from you, I am already too far
And as I walk away, the pieces on the floor begin to mend
Is this the new beginning of love, or is it the end

To A Friend

2006-10-28T07:08:00.000-07:00

To a friend who is always there
To a friend who always shows care
To a friend who helps me from the start
To a friend who helps with all their heart
To a friend who listens to me cry
To a friend who talks to me when I am shy
To a friend who sees me laugh the night away
To a friend who knows exactly what to say
To a friend who knows all my fears
To a friend whose seen all my tears
To a friend who is by my side
To a friend who is with me on my life long ride

Untitled

2006-10-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

Never been easy to express how I feel. Held them, packed them, storaged them Keep them inside so long My heart burst open, its grown too full.Been many days of pain Left my heart dangling on a puppet string. Trying not to go crazy, trying not to fall in love Don't dare say those three wordsBut, hold on, they maybe returned. Never been easy to show how I feel. Leads me to ponder on the person I am? Am I cruel? Have I been unkind?Selfish? Have I not met, satisfied, given in to your needs? Must I be the one to put all emotion aside Keep them bottled up like the firefly? How do I endure the days left undone? Never been easy to just standby. I'm against the wall, waiting for my turn Playing hide-n-seek with joy Peek-a-boo to happiness It's a tug of war with the simple things in life Hold my head high, can't let the tears pull me under. If this is the nightmare Please let my dream begin The one where I'm floating on cloud nine And dancing in seventh heaven Never been easy to cry those sad lonely tears Hating the need of another to drive away the sadness that I feel. No longer wanting to be just another concubine Passive contentment has passed on by. Played the fool far too long Held on for too long Stayed in places I knew I didn't belong Begged my heart to just let it go Don't want to pick up the pieces of this shattered life. Never been easy to express how I feel When I feel too much love Desire so much love Can't escape the need to want a bit of that love Don't want to hear the sound of heart under strain. Refuse to look in the eyes of another unrequited flame. Patience says I'm through feeling, hoping, wishing Temperance waits for someday, somewhere, someone. Cause it's never been easy to feel.

Not The Only One

2006-10-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

I looked around the world the other day
And realized I'm not the only one.
My individual problems have been special keepsakes
To which I have made to myself exclusive.
Even when I rant and rave over a few new tales,
I am reminded that the story is many centuries old.
Amongst a crowd we are the same,
And it gives no regards to the person I am.

I understand that my face is a blur like that passing train.
If you blink to quickly, I may not have been seen.
In the middle of earthly demolition,
my singular screams will not be heard.
As such, I'm not the only one
Taking misfortune to heart,
As we dismiss the pleasures of days brand new.
Cause when the troubles seem insurmountable,
A viewfinder will always display the scenes quite vividly.

I looked at this man sitting next to me
and wondered what his life is like?
Could it be picture perfect?
Can't possibly be, he's sitting next to me.
I was too scared to ask so I simply turned away.
Through the window, there's a woman
that left-footedly stumbled before crossing
The street and amazing looked down
as if to confirm with her right.
Maybe she taught her action were invisible,
but I wonder would there be a hint
of embarrassment if the spy that I just became were revealed.

It's amazing how much eye contact is avoided these days.
Submerged in reading materials or cellular use,
humanity has disconnected the personal age.
Fearful of getting too close, cautious of the public eye
Souls are shying away from the much-needed communal touch.
It's a shame really, that if a man lost his fortune
he would not be able to identify with a woman that lost her child.

No More

2006-10-26T16:59:00.001-07:00

No More un-kept house
No More focusing on trivial things
No More smiling just to fit in
No More crying over things I can not change
No More I don't know how
No More being played
No More holding my tongue for any reason, shape or form
No More letting shit slide
No More allowing people to think my kindness is a weakness
No More accepting lies for the truth
No More struggling to survive
No More holding on to a heart full of pain
No More letting loneliness terrify me
No More punking myself by not saying exactly what's on my mind
No More distractions derailing my plans
No More unhappy days
No More doubting my own inner strength
No More accepting empty promises
No More forgetting plans, dreams and goals
No More working unnecessarily hard for others without some benefit for self
No More neglecting the person who looks in the mirror
No More searching blindly in the dark
No More wasted knowledge
No More life passing by
No More I've had enough
No More wishing I had no more bullshit that has me writing no more

I'm Going All Emo On You

2006-10-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

what do you think it feels like to die?
not the often long process toward death,
but the exact moment of it?
the sudden quiet of the heart.

is it that way, even?

does the last beat scream?

or does it whisper?

do you feel pain?

do you feel something approximating peace?

do you fade delicately into that blackness

or does it slash its way brutally through

your last thoughts and swallow you into itself?

i suppose it is the luxury of the living to contemplate dying.

but i am genuinely curious. is it different if you die
at your hands than if you die at someone else's?
or from cancer, a heart attack, a stroke?
does dying feel different depending on
the circumstances under which you find yourself dying?

do you even notice you're dying?
what really happens?
do you lose consciousness before
the heart actually stops...or do you become
horrifyingly, fantastically aware of every small thing,
more so than you ever did your whole life before that moment?
is there a hanging second between the heart stopping
and the brain shutting off completely?
can you feel your heart stop and realize you just died?

do some kinds of living hurt more than dying ever could?

This is Why I love Garfield (three Comics)

2006-10-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

Quick Quote

2006-10-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

"The Most Wasted of all days is one without laughter"

E.E. Cummings

Two of my favorite Country Songs...

2006-10-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'll take the dirt road, it's all I know
I've been a'walking it for years
It's gone where I need to go
It ain't easy, it ain't supposed to be
So I'll take my time
And life won't pass me by
'Cause it's right there to find, on the dirt road

***************

I was raised off of Route Three,
Out where the blacktop ends.
We'd walk to Church on Sunday mornings,
Race barefoot back to Johnson's fence.
That's where I first saw Mary,
On that roadside pickin' blackberries.
That summer I turned a corner in my soul,
Down that red dirt road.

It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:
I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.

Her Daddy didn't like me much,
In my shackled up GTO.
Oh, I'd sneak out in the middle of the night,
Throw rocks at her bedroom window.
We'd turn out the headlights,
Drive by the moonlight.
Talk about what the future might hold,
Down that red dirt road.

It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:
I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.

Instrumental break.

I went out into the world,
An' I came back in.
I lost Mary:
Oh, I got her back again.
An' drivin' home tonight,
Feels like I've found a long-lost friend.

It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:
I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.

A Quote

2006-10-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

Since I can't seem to think of anything to write, and I feel like I am not doing my part in keeping up this blog, I decided to at least put something on here...

There are moments in our lives where we find ourselves at a crossroads.
Afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments
can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown,
most of us choose to turn around and go back. But once in a while,
people push on to something better, something found just beyond the pain
of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes
to let someone in, or give someone a second chance, something beyond
the quiet persistence of a dream… because it's only when you're tested,
that you discover who you are, that you discover who you can be.
The person you can be does exist, beyond the hard work, faith, belief,
and beyond the heartache, and fear of what lies ahead…

-One Tree Hill

Hello's !!!

2006-10-18T16:26:00.001-07:00

Chris,
you bettered get over your writers block so you can write on here.. lol...
I was waiting for you to write something.. and i dident have anything to write eaither.. so there ya go...

SO what to write what to write........

well heres my up date.. Chris get typin LOL

Hello's !!!

2006-10-18T16:26:00.000-07:00

Halloween Fright Part 1

2006-10-12T19:07:00.000-07:00

this was the night of trick and treats
this was the nights of sugury sweets..
this halloween was supposed to come like the rest..
but something happened that night....
the children were restless awaiting for there parents..
to get out the costumes..
for the trick or treat night...
but as soon as dusk fell on this old tattered town...
12 crying crows flew to the groud...
everyone knew that there was something the matter..
so they went out side.
the police were on frozen, standing in the streets..
yelling...
"CHILDREN YOU CANT COME OUT FOR TRICK OR TREATS"
the black topped ground had turned red with blood..

from where they had no clue......
suddenly they heard shreaks and shrills..

moaning and groaning...

and they searched and searched till they came to the graveyard...

while this was going on...

parents took there kids and hid in there basments...

for fear that something was terribly wrong....

the flashlight from one man lit up a grave that night..
the ground shook..

the lighting brightened the sky

as the hand from a man that had 50 years ago died

started to rise..

as so as the other hundreds there...

the Mosoleum doors cracked.. and the walls fell down..

as the Vampires started to roam the towns...

looking for and blood, any around...

the wolves they howeled and then turened into were wolf men...

the moon was full

and soon turned to red..

the police retreated... and left the poor town...

the Zombies and Vamps ransacked the town...

and gave the bones to the wlves who were laying on the ground...

when sunrise came

they all dissapeared..

and all that was left of the town

was blood curdling fear..

that was many moons ago..

as you know

about 130 or so...

now they say

on halloween night...

when you walk into the town

a deserted town...

whose name is to frighting to say...

that the childrens spritis.. are trick or treating..

and with all this candy there eating...

lurers you into tempting thoughts of a great Halloween night..

but BEWARE... once they go door to door... they tell you this story...

as many times told before ...

and before you know it... the Zombies and Vamps attack you...

and leave the candy scatterd on the ground....

this was the night of trick and treats
this was the nights of sugury sweets..
this halloween was supposed to come like the rest..
but something happened that night....

and the only reason i know...

is because i was the only one left......

Will You Still?

2006-10-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

When I'm stuck in the rain
Will you still see my tears?
Or will you just walk away
With a single cold goodbye

When my world comes crashing down
Will you still hear my call?
Or will you just walk away
With a turn of your head

When I finally fall away
Will you hear my screams?
Or will you just walk away
With a deaf ear and refuse to hear

As I wait, as I hope to hear your voice
With a promise you vowed to me
But alone I sit in the blowing wind
Watching you in my mind
Walk away...

Old Friends

2006-10-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

Old Friend..
one page..
turing on a orange flame..
one page
many words...
we will explain this to you..
Old Friends..
many things said..
and all thats left is this...
our passion of writing...
Old Friends came back again...
a story for the world..
our journey begins..
poetic thoughts melt into your mind..
till the end of time..
I think it will..
again and again.. time and time again.
Old Friends..
Secret blog..
hopefull writings..
of the underdogs..
10 years +
still going strong...
poets for life
friends in a song...
Old Friend..one page..
turing on a orange flame..
one page
many words...
we will explain this to you..

New Papa Roach Song

2006-10-10T17:09:00.000-07:00

Go!

Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved

I want domination
I want your submission
I see you're not resisting
To this temptation
I've got one confession
A love deprivation
I've got a jet black heart
It's all fucked up and it's falling apart

Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved

I've got another confession
I fell to temptation
And there is no question
There was some connection
I've got to follow my heart
No matter how far
I've gotta roll the dice
Never look back and never think twice

Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved

Take your past and burn it up and let it go
Carry on; I'm stronger than you'll ever know
That's the deal; you get no respect
You're gonna get yours
You better watch your fucking neck

Take your past and burn it up and let it go
Carry on; I'm stronger than you'll ever know
That's the deal; you get no respect
You're gonna get yours
You better watch your fucking neck

Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved
Whoa I'll never give in
Whoa I'll never give up
Whoa I'll never give in
And I just wanna be, wanna be loved

Becoming Unbound

2006-10-10T17:06:00.001-07:00

Hiding in the shadows
Of who I'm supposed to be.
Why can't anyone accept
That this is the real me?
The person that lives for the moment.
The person that cries at night.
That outgoing, but shy person
The person who tries to please everyone
And gets nothing in return.
That person that takes the easy way
Because they are too afraid to learn.
I'm trying to find what seems
to be missing from my life.
I can't find that piece that
will once more hold me together.
I'm holding on to my dreams
Of being happy once again.
I just keep wishing that my life
Will be simple like it was back then.
Pain is reflected in my eyes.
Fear is hidden in my heart.
I decided to hide who I am right from the start.
Emotions has overtaken my life,
Controlling every move I make.
Now I only wonder
How much more of this I can take.
I keep getting lost.
Never knowing where I belongs.
Fighting to escape the past
that's filled with so many wrongs.
But first, I have to let it go
To be able to move ahead.
I have to forget everytime
That I was ever mislead.
I need to pick myself up
off the cold, wet ground.
I need to find a way
to make myself unbound.
Unbound of the lies.
Unbound of the fears.
Unbound of the pain.
Unbound of the tears.
Unbound of all the emotions
I need to learn how
To stand up tall
And not let anyone
Make me fall.
I need to be myself
And live my life my way.
I need to stand my ground
And start my new life today.
Fight my way to happiness.
Remove the tears from my eyes.
Give up the pain and torment
to all those stars in the skies.
Finally believing in the person I am
And who I was meant to be.
Because finally I'm accepting
That this is the true me.