what do you think it feels like to die?
not the often long process toward death,
but the exact moment of it?
the sudden quiet of the heart.

is it that way, even?

does the last beat scream?

or does it whisper?

do you feel pain?

do you feel something approximating peace?

do you fade delicately into that blackness

or does it slash its way brutally through

your last thoughts and swallow you into itself?

i suppose it is the luxury of the living to contemplate dying.

but i am genuinely curious. is it different if you die
at your hands than if you die at someone else's?
or from cancer, a heart attack, a stroke?
does dying feel different depending on
the circumstances under which you find yourself dying?

do you even notice you're dying?
what really happens?
do you lose consciousness before
the heart actually stops...or do you become
horrifyingly, fantastically aware of every small thing,
more so than you ever did your whole life before that moment?
is there a hanging second between the heart stopping
and the brain shutting off completely?
can you feel your heart stop and realize you just died?

do some kinds of living hurt more than dying ever could?